Women giving time back to organization

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WOMEN GIVING TIME BACK TO ORGANIZATION

Former Little Sisters now serve as Big Sisters

October 22, 2000

When Charity Abner was 8 years old, her mom worked three jobs to support the family. Knowing time with her daughter was limited, she turned to Big Sisters, a program that pairs girls with adult mentors.

Doris entered Charity's life. Doris and Charity spent time talking, swimming and going to the zoo.

"I didn't understand the whole concept. All I knew was I had this girl, my buddy, who always took me out, did pretty much whatever I wanted to do. I thought she was just a friend," said Abner, now an adult.

Because of her experience, Abner is now a Big Sister.

"When I was growing up, my Big Sister helped me a lot, and I wanted to do the same for someone else while I had the opportunity," she said.

Beverly Randolph - Engebretsen was also a Little Sister who now volunteers for Big Sisters of Central Indiana, which is a member of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America.

"As a Little Sister, I learned the importance of caring for others. But now as a Big Sister, I learn that at a deeper level, but also how to handle situations as they present themselves," said Randolph-Engebretsen, who was 8 when she became a Little Sister.

"You're more of the one who's responsible, as a Big Sister, whereas as a Little Sister, it's all about fun," she added.

Both women are still in touch with their former Big Sisters.

"There will be a great amount of time that passes, but when we do (get together), we talk about everything. I basically get her caught up on what's happened to me to that point in time. If I have a major family function, she still comes to it. She's still a big part of my life," Abner said.

Randolph-Engebretsen still learns a lot from her Big Sister.

"We talk about what it's like to be a Big Sister. She gives me pointers on the lessons of life. We talk about when I was a little kid and what she did," she said.

In 1999, in central Indiana, the organization paired 251 at-risk girls with mentors. This year, 198 girls are on the waiting list.

To be eligible for a Big Sister, girls must be between 8 and 14. Big Sisters must be at least 21.

"The requirements of a Big Sister (are) you've got to spend at least two times a month with a Little Sister. They make sure that you have no police record of any kind. Basically, someone who can be there for someone else when they need help," Abner said.

"Being there" for a child is what Big Sisters is all about.

"I think it is really important because it allows the child to have one-on-one attention that she may not have with her parents," Randolph-Engebretsen said.

For Abner, the toughest thing about being a Big Sister is finding the time.

"When you're real young, you have all the time in the world. Being a Big Sister, it's a little bit harder. You got to make sure to make the time, and you got to make sure you have the money for the activities," she said.

"I want to spend as much time with her as I can, and sometimes work and stuff doesn't always allow that. I don't want to cut her short."

But advantages outweigh the hardships. Both women say they tend to do things both they and the girls enjoy.

"So far what we've done is bake Easter cookies, have her over for dinner. We also played Putt-Putt, because that's what she wanted, and that was fun. And then we hope to go to the zoo or ice skating," said Randolph-Engebretsen, whose Little Sister is 10.

"When you do stuff, you're on the same level. Like I'm going to try to take her skating and I haven't been skating forever, so this will be amusing. She can teach me again how to skate," added Abner, whose Little Sister is 12.

These women agree that Big Sisters and Little Sisters benefit equally.

"You have fun, but you also learn from the child what's really important in life," Randolph-Engebretsen said.

"I've learned to be a kid again," Abner added. "Every time I see her smile or giggle, it's a good feeling to know I helped cause that."

For more information or if you're interested in becoming a Big or Little Sister, call 634-6102 in Indianapolis, 885-6482 in Johnson County or 776-3450 in Hamilton County, or visit the organization's Web site at www.bigsistersindiana.com.

REPORTERS: Trey Johnson, 13; Sarah Wenzel, 11; and Kristin Drouin, 10.

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